A Rejected Goodbye
by PennyMon Says Yay
Summary: What if Axel hadn't let Roxas walk away when he tried to leave? *I appologize for spoilers*


Axel flung his arm out like he was throwing open a door. An orb of dark energy appeared and obeyed the unspoken command, shaping itself into a tunnel. He stepped into the lightless corridor, muttering to himself.

"That damn Saix..." he thought aloud. There was no one and nothing else in the darkness to hear him. "Doesn't even give me a sick day even after I killed my best friend. And what's with his reaction? 'Nobodies have no emotions, so you cannot be emotionally damaged, as you claim. Now get to work.'" He mimicked the austere expression of the blue-haired elfin man, flinging his wrist in the same condescending gesture. "That bastard."

"Roxas, number XIII, is attempting to abandon the ranks of the Organization. Because of your involvement and closeness with the target, it has been determined that you are the most qualified to terminate him. Axel, please use your past as a tool in bringing him down." Xemnas smiled coldly at Axel from his high white throne. Axel sat with his arms crossed over his chest, his face impassive. Control. That was the name of the game they all played. Controlling your actions, controlling your nonexistent emotions, and above all, trying to control one another. Usually, Axel didn't mind being a pawn in the game. Usually. This phase of the game, however, was personal.

But, this pawn was excellent at acting like one. He could be a bishop or a king if he desired, but chose to stay in a position where he could do as he pleased, as long as the king and bishop thought they were in charge. So, Axel shifted his expression to one of cold cruelty, one appropriate for an assassin given a target, and faded into a dark corridor, emerging outside his own room. He reached for the handle, but a slim hand stopped his own. He looked up in annoyance at Saix. His yellow eyes were empty. Lost was the clever sarcasm and bright spark of intelligence they possessed before he joined the Academy and through it the Organization. Lost was their friendly dependability. Axel hated looking into them.

"I don't know why I must say this," Saix's monotone voice said. "But do not try to save him."

Axel breathed deeply before replying. "Are you telling me how to do my job?

"You don't appear to remember how. Show him no mercy. I repeat: do not try to save him."

"WHY!" Axel's control shattered and white hot anger barbed his voice. "Why is it so impossible to just capture instead of outright kill? If I just brought him back here with a goddamn ribbon wrapped around his idiotic head, you heartless bastards could do the fucking deed yourself! Why am I the one who has to kill him? HE'S MY ONLY FRIEND!"

Saix ignored the "heartless bastards" comment and moved his cold hand to Axel's shoulder. "I am your friend, Lea. Have you forgotten?"

"His name was Isa. He is gone." Saix's face darkened for a second at that. "I have one person in all the world's that I care about, and I was just ordered to hunt him down like a Heartless, and murder him!"

"'Care'?" Always the selective listener, Saix shook his head and moved toward Axel's unclosed corridor. "We are Nobodies, Lea. We cannot care."

"No, Saix." Axel whispered to no one. "Only you cannot care."

Axel shook his head to dislodge the memories and his vibrant red spikes quivered from the sudden movement. He grimly concentrated on Twilight Town Station Heights, and seconds later what was left of it was spread out in front of him.

"Well, kid." he said softly. "You sure know how to make an exit." Once a neat entrance to the train station with a view of the town and tracks, was now impacted by an enormous crater. Bricks were thrown everywhere, displaced by the explosion. Axel had had Demyx deal with the unknowing townsfolk, having him make them think that a fuel tank below the station had exploded, and that a team of professionals was cleaning it up. They now avoided the area like the plague, using other ways to board the trains and travel to where they needed to go. Not only would their presence hamper clean-up, they might have accidently taken something with them.

Spiraling slowly down from the cloudy heavens were small star-like lights. They were the memories of Roxas, and Axel was now in charge of their collection, since it had technically been his fault that they were distributed. He caught one in a black gloved hand. In it was a feeling so strong it ravaged his mind.

"I HATE YOU, AXEL!"

He sighed and reached into his coat, pulling out a miniscule white box. He dropped the silvery star into its depths and looked up at the troubled sky. Another memory fluttered in front of him and he snatched it out of the air and quickly dropping it in the Memory Cube, but not before being attacked by another feeling.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!"

The strength of Roxas's feeling of betrayal was too much, and Axel gasped as a mysterious pain within the left side of his chest stabbed him mercilessly. His eyes watered like he'd eaten something extremely spicy despite the only taste in his mouth being a hot bitterness.

Leaning against the dark building, Axel glared at the ground as Roxas walked purposefully past him. Roxas's deep blue eyes stared straight ahead and Axel wasn't even sure he'd even hear him, but he called out anyway.

"Your mind's made up?"

Roxas stopped and looked at Axel from the corner of his eye. "Why did the keyblade chose me?" It seemed like a rhetorical question. "I have to know."

Axel pushed himself off the wall and took a desperate step toward Roxas. "You can't turn on the Organization! If you get on their bad side," He shook his head as he repeated the general consequence. "They'll destroy you!" Inside he thought, _I'll_ destroy you.

Roxas threw his a contemptuous look, as if he knew what Axel was thinking. "No one will miss me," he said simply. He didn't wait for a reply and continued walking through the city. Finally, Axel managed to get the words past the lump in his throat.

"That's not true!" He let his pleading hands fall and spoke to the empty street. "I would."

For hours, Axel collected the star-like memories. Several of them put up a fight before he could pick them up, firing spells that Roxas had known as Axel touched them. One of them became attached to a small city-bird before Axel could snatch it out of the air.

Axel summoned his chakram to retrieve the memory. Suddenly, water streamed out of the creature's beady eyes and it collapsed and died. Axel picked up the star as it left the bird through its tears and let the memory play, curious at the effect it had had. It was a visual memory, seen through Roxas's eyes and he was staring at Saix in apparent horror. The blue-haired man was glaring down at him and Xion, who stood beside him, with obvious impatience.

"I cannot be any clearer, Roxas," he was saying, his pointed face surly. "All personnel at Castle Oblivion have been eliminated. Honestly, I heard you asking everyone else the same question. Was it even necessary to bother me?" The last two comments were muttered under his breath. He turned away, making a shooing motion with his hand. "You both have missions to attend to. Get back to work."

Roxas stared into empty space, not even blinking when Xion's kind face appeared in front of him. Sharp pain ebbed in his chest and the inner corners of his eyes before his vision blurred.

Axel jerked back his crimson-spiked head to dislodge the memory. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes as he dropped the shining, painful star into the Memory Cube. He'd never thought of how it had been for Roxas after he'd left. And now, with Roxas exploded all over Station Heights, he couldn't begin to make it up to him.

But hell itself wasn't going to stop him from trying.

Axel climbed down into the very center of the rock strewn crater and set the Cube in the exact place where Roxas, rather than be captured by Axel, had turned his keyblade on himself and burst with the force of a supernova.

Axel, for once, was out of breath. Roxas stood in the center of the brick deck, his hands on shaking knees, his uniform's boots scuffed and scarred from the battle and the fleeing that brought him to where he stood. Axel had chased Roxas up to the highest point in town, raising barriers whenever an escape route presented itself. Roxas had nowhere left to run, and he knew it. So, he straightened his spine and faced his pursuer, his enemy, his best friend.

Good gawd, Axel thought. When he gives me that blue-eyed angry glare, he looked exactly like...

"Roxas-" he tried to call out.

"What?" the blonde boy spat. He was still breathless with exertion. Axel sighed and stuffed his words with all the charisma he possessed.

"Roxas. Calm down."

"I will not 'calm down' when the person I trusted to help me in situations like this, IS TRYING TO KILL ME!"

Axel tried humor. "Hey," he gave Roxas a classic smile. "I thought I was supposed to be the hot-head with the fiery temper." A glare was all he got, so he continued. "It's really not as bad as you think. If you let me take you back, they'll-"

"They might keep me because I'm the only one with the keyblade?" Roxas finished for him. He lifted a fist and the uniquely shaped sword appeared in his grip. He held it out to Axel. "Want it?"

"Not really."

Roxas laughed darkly. "You're just their puppet. Of course, you don't want it. They do. And they want you to get it." He brought it towards himself once more. "You'll just have to retrieve your objective over my dead body!" He gripped the metal blade and set the point just over where his heart should have been.

"Stop!" Panic made him yell. Axel paused, weighing the choice of logic over telling Roxas that he honestly didn't want him to die. Roxas paused too, but his eyes were closed and his face looked as though it was about to crumple in on itself. "You don't understand what you're doing! If a Nobody is killed by their own power..." He let the threat hang there.

Water dripped out of Roxas's closed eyes and down his cheeks, splattering on the keyblade. When he spoke, his voice was wrong. It sounded like he was in pain, like there was something stuck in his throat.

Probably the same thing that was making his eyes water, Axel thought absentmindedly.

"Wrong answer, Axel."

Axel had dove into a dark corridor before he was consumed by the explosion caused by Roxas's suicide. He looked now at the devastation it wrecked and the starry shreds of memory that was all that was left of number XIII. Axel crouched down in front of the Memory Cube and wrapped his arms around his knees, resting his chin on top of them. "Roxas," his voice cracked and he felt a lump form in his throat. After a pause, he finally whispered the two words that would have made a difference. "I'm... sorry."

Silence. Nothing moved on the platform. Axel buried his face in his arms, not even trying to rationalize the dampness of his sleeves or the hiccups and shudders coming from his chest. Finally, his body calmed down and he lifted his head. And blinked.

Roxas stood atop the Cube, gazing down at Axel who jerked back in surprise.

"Roxas?"

He continued to gaze coldly down on Axel. Axel jumped to his feet and reached for Roxas, meaning to pull him into a relieved hug. His arms went straight through, scattering electronic sparks. Then Axel was thrown backward, through sheer force of Roxas's will. Axel stared at him. Roxas was glowing from within, like his aura had caught fire. He opened his mouth as if to snarl and yell, but no sound came out. He silently screamed at Axel, gesturing widely. He didn't seem to realize that his words went unheard. Suddenly, it seemed that he was finished. He gave Axel a final dirty look and burst back into the starry fragments of memory, spiraling down inside the Cube and disappearing.

"TARGET AQUIRRED. RETURNING MEMORY CUBE TO CASTLE."

Axel watched the little black box pop out of existence, but didn't move from where Roxas had thrown him. He ran a hand through his spiked hair and sighed. There was only one way to interpret Roxas's game of charades: I don't forgive you.


End file.
